Toby Lynn Laughlin was born on November 27, 1961 in Oakland, California to her parents, Jemmie Kincade and Nathaniel Dickerson. She was raised by Jemmie and her husband Leslie Kincade. She attended Holy Spirit Elementary School in Los Angeles and St. Francis de Sales in Oakland before graduating from El Cerrito High School in 1979. In the early 1980s, she also attended Alameda College, where she participated in the dental program.

Toby was a free spirit with a gentle heart, a wonderful sense of humor, and a personality all her own. In her early years, she studied ballet with Mrs. Bogie and worked her way up to pointe shoes, showing both her dedication and grace. She was loving and caring, and had a way of making people feel welcome. Throughout her life, she formed lifelong friendships, some beginning as early as high school and continuing through the many chapters of her life. She was affectionately known by her family as “Tobster,” “Nanainator,” and “Pigeon,” a special nickname given to her by her nephew Jacob.

In 1980, Toby became a mother when she welcomed her daughter, Mia Kincade (Laughlin). Then, she met John Laughlin on Treasure Island while he was stationed there in the United States Navy. They later married in 1985 before welcoming their son Chris Laughlin. In 1988, Ashley Laughlin was born, and their family was complete. As a military spouse, Toby made a home for her family wherever John’s service took them. Their journey included California, Illinois, Virginia, and New York. Along the way, she continued to make memories that became part of her family’s story.

Toby was a hardworking woman who held various jobs throughout her life, but focused more on her hobbies and living life to the fullest. Cooking was just one way Toby expressed herself and connected with the people she loved. Toby became the family’s designated gumbo maker after the passing of her mother and grandmother. She even helped her sister Tracey learn how to make roux, carrying forward a cherished family tradition. Her cooking represented more than food; it was one of the ways family traditions continued from one generation to the next. She loved many genres of music like funk, rock, hip-hop, r&B, soul, and rap. But above all, Jimi Hendrix was always on repeat. Her musical taste reflected the many sides of her personality and free spirit. She loved traveling and would always be up for a fun trip to Las Vegas with friends and family.

One of the greatest joys of Toby’s life was being a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. Her family continued to grow across generations, as she proudly embraced the name Nana. In 1997, she welcomed her first grandson, Austin Laughlin. She later welcomed her granddaughter, Zahara Laughlin-Mohler (born 2006), and her grandson Xavier Laughlin (born 2025). Toby was also blessed with a great-granddaughter, Alina Laughlin-Duran (born in 2018). Her family represented four generations of love and connection, and she had the joy of seeing that family continue to grow. The relationships she shared with her children, grandchildren, and great-granddaughter remain an important part of the legacy she leaves behind.

Toby was preceded in death by her father Nathaniel, her parents Jemmie and Leslie; her daughter, Ashley; and her sister Verlin “Sissey” Dickerson.

She lives on through memory by her husband, John; her daughter, Mia (Kevin) and their children, Austin and Zahara; her son, Christopher (Hannah) and their son, Xavier; and a great-granddaughter, Alina (daughter of Austin).

She is also survived by her siblings, Raychelle (John Lee) and their children Evan and Ryan; and his children Ryiah, Ryan Jr., and Zyan, Tracey (Jason Harvey) and their son Jacob “Pigeon”, Andre Dickerson, Alicia Grayson, and Javon Dickerson; her sisters in-law Karen, Kim, Kathleen, Kerri, and Kelly (who passed away this year). And a host of extended family members, longtime friends, and loved ones who will miss her dearly.

Though Toby’s life on earth ended on October 14, 2026, the love she gave and the memories she created remain. She will be remembered for her humor, her welcoming heart, her love of music, her free spirit, and the many ways she brought people together. She was loved as a daughter, sister, a wife, a mother, a Nana, a great-grandmother, a friend, and a woman who lived life in her own way. She will be deeply missed and forever remembered.

To send flowers to the family or place a tree in memory of Toby Lynn Laughlin, please visit our Tribute Store.