After a life of devoted service to God and country, John Mire Gravois transitioned peacefully into eternal life in the early morning of March 30, 2025, surrounded by his loving family in his home. He succumbed to a rare and aggressive form of Parkinsonism, caused by his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam.

Though he would ultimately become a global citizen, John’s life began in Edgard, a small rural community in south Louisiana, on May 9, 1943. He was the youngest of eight siblings, raised in a devout Catholic family. That faith would form and sustain him throughout his life, and was shared by his beloved wife of 60 years, Martha.

He and Martha—friends since early childhood—were married in 1964. Two years later, their lives were upended by a draft notice. That disruption was the beginning of what would ultimately become, for John, a 27-year career as an officer in the Army Ordnance Corps.

John’s military career included four tours in Germany, supporting the Army’s Cold War mission to protect Western Europe from Soviet expansion, and one in Vietnam, where his assignment was to advise a South Vietnamese maintenance battalion. He was a leader of soldiers, commanding first a company, then a battalion, then a brigade—all units that maintained weaponry and equipment to keep them ready in the event of a war. In one command, the official motto of his unit was “Service Not Glory,” which pretty well sums up his philosophy of life.

John and Martha had three children. They adopted their son Damien during their first tour in Germany in 1968. Upon his arrival in Vietnam in 1970, John immediately began an effort to adopt a second child. Bringing Melanie home from the war zone, he said, was “the closest a man ever came to being a mother.” They had their third child, John Matthew, in 1978.

His final military assignment brought him to Florida in 1990, where he oversaw the Army’s post-Cold War adoption of computer simulation technology. Colonel Gravois retired from active duty in June 1993. Over the course of his military career, he received a number of honors, including the Bronze Star and the Legion of Merit, the military’s highest award for non-combat service.

After the Army, he was an international program manager for Lockheed Martin for eight years; the work was more lucrative but less fulfilling. Once again he felt called to service. So in 2000, he began formation for the Permanent Diaconate. After his ordination in 2005, he served faithfully in parish ministry for fifteen years—preaching regularly, officiating at weddings and funerals, visiting the sick—at Nativity Catholic Church in Longwood, Florida. A booming baritone, he was known as “that older deacon with the great voice.”

He and Martha became ardent RVers, exploring the American West, especially the National Parks, where they hiked and photographed wildlife and natural wonders. They also loved their cabin in the North Carolina mountains, which became their refuge, a place of peace and beauty which they loved to share in hospitality.

John had many skills and interests. He could smoke a turkey, shuck oysters, and make a great Cajun gumbo. He could (and did) refinish furniture, lay hardwood floors, and must have hung a mile of wallpaper over the years. At the cabin he could fell a tree and wield a chainsaw. He loved to sing, and was especially thrilled to chant the Exultet at Nativity during the Easter Vigil. John had many titles in his long life—dad, uncle, Captain, Major, Colonel, Deacon—but the one that brought him sheer joy was “Opa;” spending time with his grandchildren was always a priority.

There were difficult times as well. The death of his oldest son was a devastating loss. Inevitably, John’s health declined, first his heart, then the debilitating symptoms of Parkinsonism. Eventually he became dependent on others for even his most basic needs. The courage, patience, and good humor with which he endured it all is perhaps the greatest testimony to the strength of his character, the depth of his faith, and the essential goodness of his life.

The family will be forever grateful to the Veterans Administration and to Hospice of the East Bay for their excellent care and support. John is preceded in death by his oldest son, Damien (Mickey Gravois); and is survived by his sister, Maude Cheramie; his wife, Martha; his daughter, Melanie (James Wilson); son, John Matthew (Rose Dakin); his great granddaughter, Alexis; and his grandchildren, Meghan, Damien Jeffrey, Iola, and Mira.

Services are as follows:
Mass of Christian burial at St. Mary Magdalene Catholic Church – Saturday, April 12, 2025
2005 Berryman Street, Berkeley, CA 94709
Funeral Mass at 1pm, preceded by visitation beginning at noon. Reception to follow.

Mass of Christian burial at Nativity Catholic Church – Wednesday, April 23, 2025
3255 N. Ronald Reagan Boulevard, Longwood, FL 32750

Funeral Mass at 11am preceded by visitation beginning at 10am.

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