Born at Oaknoll Naval Hospital, Merritt Ellen Ince was so named because her mother was reading a book and one of the characters was named Merritt, but she known to all as Meri.

Meri was a woman of deep faith and prayer and loved all people, especially children. Hospitality was one of her gifts and she loved to serve others. She loved gardening which she considered “therapy” because it brought her a lot of thinking time and joy! Hawaii was her very special place of aloha. She
loved the people, the amazingly beautiful sights, smells, flowers, food and respite it provided her soul.

Her life verse was Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Her parents, both military, lived in San Francisco when Meri was a baby. Her mother used a dresser drawer for her first bed.

Later, her parents lived on Cragmont Street in Berkeley and because of a steep drop off at a retaining wall, Meri was tethered to a tree so as not to fall over the drop! She wrote a story in her 4th or 5th grade class called, “My mom was so mean, she tied me to a tree!”

While living in Berkeley her sister, Sharon, was born.

Her parents moved to San Pablo, CA, where Meri attended kindergarten and first grade at Bay View Elementary. This is when her brother Ted was born.

At the age of 7 or 8, her parents divorced and her mom moved with the 3 kids to Carlotta Street in North Berkeley. She went to Jefferson Elementary school on the corner of Rose and Sacramento. There she discovered her musical aptitude learning to play the viola, the violin and the piano. Those were some happy times! One of Meri’s greatest joys recently was to reconnect with many of her Jeffersonian friends!

In her junior high years Meri accepted The Lord into her life in a deep and real way and began growing in her faith and service to others. She was baptized at 14 years of age in the neighborhood church she had attended since she was 7.

In junior high and through high school, she volunteered as a candy striper at Herrick Hospital. She was offered a real job in the dietary kitchen while still in High school. Meri recalled, “That’s when they served real food that people enjoyed eating!”

Meri was musically gifted, playing many instruments and having a voice that earned her an invitation to join the UC Berkeley Choral group and tour with them. She declined this offer, but did cut a record as part of the Maranatha Minstrels, formed with church friends she grew up with. She also attended summer camp with these friends at Mission Springs in Scott’s Valley since 4th grade. It was a happy place for her with old friends, new friends and many adventures.

Her father was a member of the Masonic Order and through that connection, Meri joined Job’s Daughters rising through the ranks to Honored Queen of Bethel 52 Berkeley.

A few years after graduating from Berkeley High School, she married Rusty DeRouchey (from the Carlotta street neighborhood) and after 7 years of marriage they began a wonderful life chapter of adopting 3 children. Ryan, Megan, and Matthew. Meri considered each one of them as an answer to prayer and a gift from God!

Always very involved in church and music, she was a choir director and worship leader for Berkeley Covenant Church. She sang solos, duets and in quartets over the years. She also served the pastoral staff as administrator in the office there.

While her children were very young, Meri started working at Mustard Seed Preschool as a volunteer and later as staff to help pay the tuition for her children. She was called to be a teacher at the preschool, until she retired after 26 years of loving service. It gave her great joy and many sleepless nights praying for the children and their families!

After a long separation, Meri and Rusty divorced. In 2005, Meri married her soulmate and gift from God, Michael Thwaites – Love and grace and lots of laughter filled their days.

Another great joy for Meri was becoming an Opoe or granny to Johana and Jasiah Hirschman. Meri loved caring for the grandkids and helping them grow. Still committed to educating children, Meri also volunteered at Fairmount Elementary in classrooms and worked with her grand daughter on homework and school projects. She treasured these times.

On Meri and Michael’s 9th wedding anniversary, Meri developed severe back pain. They went to the Alta Bates ER with what they thought were kidney stones. When the ER doctor came out with the x-rays he was somewhat shaken and said it wasn’t kidney stones, but there were unexplained spots on the x-ray.

And so the chapter of Meri’s cancer began. It took months for the oncologists to determine what type of cancer. Biopsies and scans were all negative. Finally, Michael suggested GI exams…so both were done and the cancer was identified as a Carcinoid tumor in her small intestine. It had spread to her liver.

Known for her puns and quick wit, throughout this last trial, Meri did her best keep her humor. For example, on Easter 2015, Meri was bummed. As she walked the halls of the hospital, wearing the lovely and traditional hospital gown, she saw someone else wearing the same one! She inquired of them, do you like my Easter Dress? “Why yes”, they said, “it’s just like mine!”

She strived to be kind to everyone, even as the cancer progressed. She knew all the nurses and workers at the Cancer Center by name. She appreciated every single one of them for their stellar care and loving hugs. She enjoyed bringing them treats from time to time. Meri reached out to the new patients in the waiting rooms and made sure to connect with those she saw multiple times, getting to know their stories.

Meri wrote this to be shared, “Cancer knows no race – no age – no bounds … but we are people who do our best to stay strong, to run the race and endure the treatments as painful and long as some of them are. Michael and I are so thankful to our wonderful pastor, Royce Tanaka and our church family at East Bay for ministering to us and with us over the years. What a blessing you are!”

Meri went home to the Lord on August 30, 2015 at Alta Bates Hospital Berkeley, California. She leaves her husband Michael Thwaites, sister Sharon (spouse Fred), brother Ted (spouse Connie), children Ryan, Megan, Matthew, Rebecca and grandchildren Johana and Jasiah.

—–

Merrit (Meri) Thwaites’s Celebration of Life service will be held on
Saturday, September 19, 1 PM
at East Bay Free Methodist Church, 5395 Potrero Ave, El Cerrito, CA 94530

She would like “aloha attire.”

In lieu of gifts or flowers, please donate to the church or to the American Cancer Society, or donate to your local blood bank.

We were truly grateful for the many units of platelets and whole blood that Meri received. Our insurance covered the cost, but this would not have been possible without donations.